001 - New Fans Are Made
In a large circular room stands a man.
Spotlights ring the ceiling making him appear shadowless. Below them the floor is etched with the logo for Ultimate Mecha Battling Circuit. A camera drone circles around from behind him, highlighting his large frame. He wears a finely tailored charcoal business suit with filigree patterned trim, a big stylized “H” on the back of the jacket. His toothy smile and bright, intense eyes shine brilliantly under the lights. His slicked-back, bleach-white hair contrasts sharply with the reddish-orange of his tanned skin.
The camera drone flies around to the front and points towards him. On that cue, he begins to speak.
“Welcome one and all to our live preseason explainer! I am Vice Howard, Executive Chairman of Ultra Mecha Battling Circuit!
It is an honor to share with you all what has been my passion for nearly 50 years.”
Howard makes sweeping, grandiose gestures to emphasize his words. “When I took over this position from my father over 30 seasons ago, I made it my mission to ensure that every season would be as exciting and memorable as the ones from my childhood.
You have my guarantee that Season 334 will be no different!”
A curved screen behind Howard begins to play clips from previous seasons during his tenure as Chairman: massive robotic claws clash with swords made of light, strange-looking individuals in absurd costumes bark ultimatums into microphones, crowds of people cheering and brandishing home-made signs.
“Rivalries! Betrayals! Upsets and upstarts! Heroes, triumphant over villains! Villains, outsmarting Heroes! Drama incarnate–we have it all, here in UMBC!
But! All fans have to begin somewhere, and that's why you’re here!”
Vice Howard grins harder as the camera drone moves closer. The screen behind him fades to white.
“I now entrust you to the talented and capable hands of UMBC’s historian, the man who will take us through the intriguing history—as well as the rules—of the Sol's number one mechanized sport!”
The drone advances. Howard leans his head to one side to let it pass, revealing to the lens a hefty bearded man standing several meters behind him.
“Greetings, friends! It is I, Sterling Starling! Allow me to regale you with wonders from our humble history of horseplay.”
Starling is dressed in a dark suit sparkling with crystal accents in all the colors of the cosmos and holding a silver-topped cane. His manner and speech are evocative of a carnival barker’s, similar but different to Howard's own exaggerated presentation style.
“The UMBC started over 300 years ago, in 000.15 SE, before the adoption of the Stellar Era calendar!
As any child learns in history class, mechs were once used to duke out the various wars and conflicts of the Second Dark Age.
After the formation of the Coalition, our foreparents had the brilliant idea to redeem these former weapons by making them into tools of entertainment!
Thus, the UMBC was born!”
Behind Starling, archival footage of the early days of the UMBC plays. Large humanoid robots twenty meters tall grapple, punch, and kick each other in the hangar bays of space stations, crowds of onlookers egging them on from catwalks and observation windows. The footage has been run through desaturated and grainy filters to make it feel old.
Starling fades out of frame as the footage zooms in to take focus.
Starling's voiceover continues over the footage. “The core rules were established early on:
One versus one in a double elimination tournament, overseen and presented by a select Creative team—
the very same team our dear Chairman and I are a part of today.”
Photos and video of the various Creative teams fade in and out over a stylized timeline. From the initial band of mech enthusiasts of the Proto Era, to the unfortunates that led the Season 5 Scandal, then the mysterious figures of the Shadow Initiative; after that, the ridiculously-clad Masters of the Second Golden Age. Past the Baster Trio who dominated the sport so effectively historians named an era after them. Then to the ill-fated Ultra era which saw bigger and bigger mechs, which resulted in a sort of stagnation until the first in the Howard Dynasty took over in Season 228. The recap comes to its end at 003.16 SE, Season 301, when Vice Howard took over as the fourth Chairman in that Dynasty.
The drone pulls back and Starling comes into view once again. “Here are the absolute truths of the Circuit: A Battler can win a match in one of three ways,” Starling says, an infographic appearing to the side of him.
“Firstly, whomstever scores one thousand points before their opponent takes the win.
There is, of course, a time limit of thirty minutes—that's roughly twenty one beats for those of you not familiar with Earth time.
If neither Battler has met the points threshold, then the victory goes to whichever has the most points by the end of the half hour.”
With a flourish of his hand, the historian directs his finger to the second bullet point, “Nextly, a Battler may win via disabling their opposition’s mech or pilot.
The contest is, indeed, a dangerous one. Many Battlers have been injured or even lost their lives in the name of the sport, but it is not a bloodsport.
Killing your opponent, even by accident, results in an immediate disqualification!
Fortunately, this is rare! Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, serious injury is less and less common with each new season.”
A series of brief cuts shows various pilots recovering in medical vehicles and hospitals. The injured Battlers featured are in good spirits, often giving a thumbs up or “OK” gesture.
Many are wrapped comically in bandages that would not be appropriate for their level of injury. Some look suspiciously as if they are wearing prosthetics or makeup to appear more injured.
“Lastly,” Sterling Starling says with a rolled L, “we have the most common victory condition: forfeiture.
At any point, a Battler may choose to cede the match due to the extreme duress of being pushed to their breaking point!
A shrewd warrior knows it’s better to drop out than drop dead.”
Footage plays: an explosion causes a mech with lanky arms and metal wings to collapse backwards. The commentators express dismay before a in-cut of the pilot in the cockpit making a “thumbs down” gesture to signal forfeit is shown and they both sigh in relief.
“There is only one instance where these rules do not apply: the Grand Finals!
During the early days of the Circuit, fans and Battlers alike pushed for an alternative to the standard bracket reset from double elimination tournaments.
In the name of both safety and entertainment, the double-long bout format with no point limitation was created.
But, oh ho ho ho! Grand Finals are a looooong long long way away, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet!”
A supercut plays in the background of mechs holding up massive championship belts, their pilots lifting season trophies alongside them.
“Since Season 33, UMBC has been broken up into at least three Divisions; Melee, Ranged, and, the most popular, Mixed.”
The infographic behind Starling shifts to list out these three divisions, along with images of the current champions of each one: Lancelot and the Fortress of Benoic, his older brother Galahad in the Paladin Mk IX, and the Curse of Metis, Our Lady of Silence Dea Tacita in the Grey Ghost.
“Each Division has its own specifications, such as arena size and etcetera, which I won’t go into now for the sake of time.
But here’s the quick and dirty down-low: Melee only allows hand-to-hand, mano-a-mano weaponry to be utilized.
Ranged features weaponry such as firearms, rockets, and the like.
In Mixed, the sky’s the limit, but each participating Battler must be equipped with at least one melee weapon and one ranged weapon.”
Sterling Starling claps his hands together. The projection around him goes black. “Now then, allow me to introduce an old friend of mine for our next section: Stella Howard-Delaney! Stella, my darling, if you would…” He moves his right hand in a circular motion, turning with it as he moves it towards the background.
A blue haired woman in a well fitted plum-colored suit stands with her hands behind her back. She smiles and waves. “Hello!
I’m Stella Howard-Delaney, long-time match commentator and Creative Director, here today to tell you about some highlights coming up in Season 334 of UMBC!”
A collage of the 768 entrants from across the three divisions flashes up behind Howard-Delaney.
“Even before the metal starts to fly, this season is already shaping up to be one of the best in Circuit history!
Returning champs, fan favorites, and many brand new warriors have come to fight and claim the title of Grand Victor!
Here are a few faces that new viewers should keep an eye out for!”
Howard-Delaney taps her finger on the Gray Ghost, piloted by Dea Tacita, and a bold outline splashes around the image of the mech. The picture enlarges and the roster of other Battlers fades behind it. The Gray Ghost is tall, with two drone-like BIT units floating on either side. In the mech’s hands is a large, scythe-like weapon.
“Dea Tacita is the reigning champion of the Mixed Division but has been in a bitter rivalry with the pilot of Stinger, Richardson Gold!”
Howard-Delaney taps on a second figure to bring to the fore: a shorter mech with a bat-like head, wings, and a rare engine that looks vaguely like a hornet’s stinger holding a sleek beam bazooka over one shoulder and a hard-light sword in its other hand.
“The two Battlers have met in the Grand Finals for the past four seasons straight and have traded the title back and forth. Will their rivalry continue this season?
News on the street is that Richardson Gold has a special trick that’s sure to turn the tides in his favor!”
Howard-Delaney taps on a different Battler from the Ranged Division. The bold outline appears around an extraordinarily armored mech, a massive cannon sitting above its right shoulder and an additional set of legs sprouting from its backpack.
“Now let’s take a look at the current champion of the Ranged Division, the Paladin Mk IX, piloted by the hero of the Gadsden Guild Conflict back in 002.99 SE: the face of the Rose of Sol, Galahad!
He’s been on a massive win streak for the past FIVE seasons. Still, that hasn’t made him and his team secure.
Rumor has it he will be unveiling the Paladin Mk X in the coming weeks.”
Howard-Delaney looks over the entrants in the Ranged Division. “Galahad’s competition is full of killers, mind you!
We can’t discount his longtime rival, Hector 99 in the Satin Wolf, who came close to finally beating Paladin Mk IX last season in the semi-finals.”
A brief clip of the match appears next to Stella Howard-Delaney, showing the Satin Wolf–a dog-like mech with a large chain gun affixed to its back–being lifted and thrown by the Paladin Mk IX.
“As for the Melee Division, we have Galahad’s younger brother and division champ, Lancelot in Tower of Benoic.”
Beside the presenter, an even more heavily armored mech than the Paladin Mk IX appears, decked out with a massive sword and shield.
“Lancelot has not been on quite as solid a win streak as his brother, but has still proven himself an incredibly impressive Battler.
He will have to contend with the rising star of the Melee Division, Z. Z., the pilot of the Kinzhal Z.
The maneuverable Kinzhal Z has proved difficult for the Tower’s strategy of going all-in on big, heavy hits.”
A clip of the wheeled Kinzhal Z zooming past a heavy overhead chop from the Tower’s massive sword plays before cutting back to Stella Howard-Delaney where she stands in front of the collage of fighters.
“Those were our returning battlers. However, this season has seen an unprecedented increase in first-timers entering the fray. Let’s take a quick look at some newbies to keep an eye on!”
Several mechs from the collage are highlighted, the rest fading from view.
“First, the virtual popstar duet, Love2Go!
These two have enjoyed popularity on the charts—you’ve heard their hits at the dance club, on the radio, or maybe even in your dentist’s waiting room.
Now they’re trying their digital hands at becoming Grand Victors, competing in both the Melee and Ranged Divisions.”
Footage plays beside Stella of the two pop idols, one with a cat-themed avatar and the other with a fairy-themed one, hopping around onstage and waving to fans.
“And they’re not the only musicians entering this season!
You may have heard of this experimental artist collective out of New France Cluster, Fleur de Minuit!
The trio of artists have decided to bring their unique talents for performance to our UMBC.
Whether or not their theatrics will help any of them become Grand Victors remains to be seen.”
Next to Howard-Delaney, footage of three women in fancy gothic costumes and dramatic makeup bang on strange instruments in a rusted out warehouse.
“Last, but not least, we have the granddaughter of a UMBC luminary making her debut this season!
Her grandfather was the legendary Champion of Champions, 16-time Grand Victor, pilot of the Highwayman, as well as my longtime co-commentator and foil: Hank Dreadful!”
A picture appears on Howard-Delaney’s presentation of a proudly smiling, older man, decked out in pseudo-victorian garb. One of his large hands flashes a thumbs-up; the other rests on the shoulder of a cocky-looking young woman.
“She's been training with the Rose of Sol for the past two years. She will enter on their behalf in the Mixed Division as Penny Dreadful piloting The Highwayman ReVive!”
Stella Howard-Delaney beams at the camera, her presentation concluded. “These are but a crumb of the Battler feasts we will serve up this Season!”
“That's right, Stella!” says Vice Howard, stepping into frame from her right. He puts his arm around her shoulders.
“We have so much in store for you!” the booming voice of Starling announces as he enters the frame from Howard-Delaney’s left.
In unison they say, “All right here on Ultra Mecha Battling Circuit!”
In a dive bar somewhere in the New Singapore cluster sits a middle-aged woman.
Her messy red hair and blonde bangs hang from her bowed head. An eyepatch embroidered with a stylized eye covers the entire left side of her face. She stares into her drink with a twisted, sad smirk as the UMBC explainer, broadcast on the bar’s TV, comes to its end.
The woman shakes her head and wonders: “That raggedy creep asked me to come back and I wasn’t even worth a mention in the season opener? I’m such a damned fool…”